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Saturday, March 5, 2011

Trials in Life....

Elder Dallin H. Oaks warns us that "The treasure of our hearts- our priorities-should not be the destructible and temporary things of this world. " How do we set priorities? Elder Russell Ballard taught: "Find some quiet time regularly to think deeply about where you are going and what you will need to do to get there. Jesus, our explemplar, often "withdrew himself into the wilderness and prayed. We need to do the same thing occasionally to rejuvenate ourselves spiritually as the Savior did.

Retrieved from a book "All the Time You need" by Mary Ellen Edmunds.

This past little while has been one trial after the next. It seems as though it was never ending; you are supposed to feel joy and happiness after having a new baby. Don't get me wrong I was so happy to not be pregnant anymore but it was a struggle when we brought Shelbi home. I wanted so badly to nurse, and I couldn't do that. I wanted so badly to get on a routine but it just didn't happpen due to my sickness. I have realized that through it all, I have relied more on my Savior more than ever before in my entire life.

Last week, my body was racked with so much sickness that my fevers that I had been having for days spiked to 104. My body wasn't right, I was sick and couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't even move to pick my baby up to even nurse her; I knew something was wrong. So I had Jon call my mom to come over to stay with the kids so he could take me to the ER. I was so scared but knew I needed to receive some medical attention. Sure enough after four hours of being in the ER, they found that I had a kidney infection, my white blood count was 20,000 (extremely high) and my blood pressure was 77/43 way low. My body was septic and had a massive infection. My doctor said later that a lot of women after giving birth get a Urinary tract infection or a bladder infection and they don't even know it. Well that was my case, I had a UTI for weeks and didn't know it until it went straight to my kidneys. Crazy stuff.

Anyhow, needless to say I was admitted and had to stay in the hospital to recover for four whole days. During this time, I was away from Jon, the kids and my newborn baby. It was the worst time in my life, I was depressed, detached, hopeless, and felt like I was cheated. Mind you, we had decided and felt like our family was complete. So I was done having babies, I wanted my last one to be the best experience ever and I felt like I didn't get that like I was robbed of this precious time. However, I realized with the power of the priesthood that i would be made well and that my family would be blessed during this trying time.

I realized that nothing is on our "time table", it is all on the Lord's time and in his hands. I was so vulnerable and so fragile and realized that my body was so sick and I needed to get well for my family and for my children. I returned home this past Monday Feb. 28th and it has never been better. I am getting better each day, finding my strength and energy, I'm so in love with being present for my children and taking care of my precious baby girl Shel. My family is precious, and I realized that it could all have been taken away from me if I hadn't listened to my body and the promptings of the spirit.

I love my family and the blessings from heaven have flooded our home with meals from ward, cards, prayers, well wishes, phone calls, visits, taking kids to school for me, picking up kids. You name it it has happened; people are remarkable. Family is everything and the Savior is always there in our darkest hours. I thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for all their prayers, they truly were felt and I couldn't have got through it without them.

Thank you; Thank You from everything that I have. Loves